I love surprise presents, specially on a day that didn’t start that great. Today was my first day starting work at 8 (I am still on half days). Oh my god it was painful in every way possible to get up at 7. My body didn’t want to work, my head didn’t want to work and my mood was horrendous, poor Axel having to deal with me this morning. But I did it, I survived the day, absolutely exhausted now and had to have a nap this afternoon. My body is aching in every way possible. 2 more days left and I’ve done my first week at part time. I hope I can do it ok. It’s difficult when my energy is low and my body aches and doesn’t want to do as I want to. Such a struggle. Sometimes I find it really difficult trying to explain to people how I feel, often when explaining how I am tired getting the response ‘yeah I’m tired too‘ or ‘who’s good in a morning anyway’. Yes I know what you mean, and yes I guess I haven’t really ever been great in a morning but this is beyond the normal tired and bad morning stage. Feeling like a zombie who has dome some monster work out running competition without rest for 3 days, with a brain that just sort of says wooosh, woosh, woosh, bzzzzzzzzzz squalp. This is not how I used to be. I do hope this gets better soon. 3 days of 4 hours a day in a row now and my body is noticing the difference. I hope I can last the week. It’s been nice having people around me and working, and I have started feeling stronger in a muscle perspective too which is nice. Fingers crossed. My mood is still swinging quite a lot, not just in a morning and my brain is mega mush, but I am so so grateful that I have Axel and I am so grateful that he has patience with me. I’ve gotta share, despite me being a moody bum this morning he text me saying to book Saturday night in for a surprise with him. I must be doing something right sometimes.

So today I got home to a gift. A big gift! From America! I opened up a parcel with lots of absolutely BEAUTIFUL yarn! Amazing colours, amazing quality. They feel amazing and look stunning! I also got some new really cool needles where the wire detaches from the needles so I can either change to bigger or smaller needles mid knitting or work on multiple projects at the same time using the same needles. (I don’t really know how to explain the needles but they are super cool!) I also got an amazing hand wash jasmine oil that smells DIVINE! Now I need to think of something beautiful to knit with my beautiful wool that I can later wash in lovely jasmine! Thank you so so soooooooo much ‘aunt’ Lisa! I LOVE them! This is one of the most beautiful gifts ever and so thoughtful! I absolutely love them! These pictures don’t even do the colours justice actually, they are so much more Alive in real life! I feel so spoilt! Thank you once again for sending me this gorgeous present Lisa!

Talking about knitting, I have knitted 3 big blankets using my arms as “needles”. They are so cool! I made the first one before surgery and then I have made another couple after as gifts. They are beautiful, even if I say so myself, and I am so proud of them! It is so comfy and warm and I love the weight of it. Its a comforting blanket that makes me warm and makes me feel safe and protected.

Happy international women’s day to all you strong women out there! And thank you to all the strong women who have worked so hard for us to be able to do as much as we can today. I have grown up with strong woman in my life, my mum being one of the strongest I have been lucky enough to learn from. She has showed me first hand how you can do things even when no one else thinks it’s possible. She has showed me that as long as you believe in yourself then anything is possible. She has showed me the importance of never giving up. She has showed me the importance of standing your ground, standing up for yourself and your values and thoughts. I can only hope that one day I will be as strong as she is! I love you mum. And lots of love to everyone else out there reading this! 


P.s. bought some new pens today, and waiting for a new order of stoma bags to arrive so I’ll soon be posting about my new bags and new decorations 🙂

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