Every little step in the right way is worth a thousand smiles. Last week I have showed clear signs of slowly getting better! Not only did I pick a pencil and pad up and sketch for an hour, I actually baked a cake! Not on the same day though. Those of you who don’t know, I have always loved to bake. I don’t really care about the eating, I just love the making part. So on Thursday I actually felt I had the energy after work and did it! I have also been feeling major Easter vibes so I decided to try some new things and even decorate my cake!
I made a basic sponge cake (sockerkaka) followed by a lemon curd- which was the first time I made a lemon curd! I put a layer of curd in the middle and then on top of the cake too. I topped it with a vanilla buttercream- which also was the first time I made it. I then got marshmallows, and died sugar and made the rabbit ears, eyes and noses. I was very pleased with the look of my cake, with it being the first time I did anything like that and the first time me and Stevie did the baking together 😉 Next time it will look even better! 

At the weekend I took Axel out for his first horse riders too. I just love the feeling sitting on the horses back, looking out over the fields or woods and hearing the wind blowing gently. It’s like heaven. I am also very proud of Axel for getting on a horse and doing it with me. He really is amazing support through everything. 

I also managed to do some Easter decorating. I was surprised to find as many decorations as I did in our old boxes. Decorations that survived over 10 years from our time living in America, and decorations from my Mormor (maternal grandmother). So many lovely childhood memories in these simple yet beautiful objects. Our flat is now welcoming the spring and Easter with big arms! Even the cats are liking it now too! 

It’s amazing what some sun, blue sky and the fresh life of spring can do. Plants coming to life, flowers starting to bloom, the world is getting filled with colours again and coming to life. I find that simple things like this really make life so much easier.

The other week Axel took me to my first hockey game too. I enjoyed the action and the fact that is was more violent but I HATED the big mascot that Axel MADE me get a picture with. I thought my fear had eased but my heart went racing and I nearly started crying. After everything I’ve been through surely that shouldn’t get me?! But oh yes it did!

Stevie has been behaving good, we are getting on. Got some rings to put around because I think my stoma has shrunk a bit more but to an annoying size so I’m wearingwp-1490719901144.jpgg the rings to protect the skin for now annoying help it heal up totally again. Apart from that stoma is doing well annoying do managing life good. It’s the energy, the achievement and my head that’s still on a low. But as I said earlier, small steps in the right direction! One thing I have been enjoying are my qigong classes! Anyone who hasn’t tried it, TRY IT! I’m quite upset that I had my last class on Monday, but I’m hoping to carry on with it. I find it helps me calm down, but at the same time use my body and feel more. Here is a silly picture from my last class where we all had to pose for a picture haha.

Saying this, my nerves are on a high.. tomorrow evening I’m flying home to England to be with my mum (and sister). Mum is having her first hip surgery on Thursday and I could not bear sitting in Sweden waiting for the phone to ring. This way I get to hug her before she goes in, be nervous together with my sister, and can be support, company and partial help for her (what I can manage at least). It feels a lot better being with her for me at least. So, tonight I’m trying time get my head together, gonna pack tomorrow. Tonight it’s mine and Axels night! Over and out all! I’ll check in again soon!

P.s. sorry about cutting things short today, just wanted to update you all quickly on what has been going on. I will write more when I have settled and know how things are going with my mum!

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