Hop

6 years ago I read Life of Pi and fell a bit in love with this text, so I wrote it on a piece of paper and stuck it on the door to my studio so I could read it every day (as well as everyone who entered the house as my studio was right by the front door). That book in general was and is a favourite of mine, so many sections that I underlined, so many amazing thoughts, definitely worth a read, and definitely one I should read soon again!

2 years ago I shared it again. 2 years ago when I was laid in hospital, when I was terrified about what was going on, terrified by death sticking so close to life. I didn’t feel like I had much of a life. Walking around the ward with a bag of nutrition because I physically could not eat, and every day it leaked out into my arm making half of my arm hard and swollen and so unbelievably painful. Every day having to swap arms because every day something would leak out, be it medicine or nutrition. But I kept my brave face on, I pretended I was getting ice cream straight into my blood stream, hanging out with my little friend on wheels. By this point I’d been in the hospital for 3 days, and little did I know what was to come. To start with it was another 5 days before my mum could be with me again.. those were some long 5 days, but I did get visits from some lovely people who were there for me. I cannot believe its 2 years ago I was in hospital, unaware of what was going on, fighting for my life without even realising it. My body was fighting a crazy war trying to keep me alive. A war which has calmed down but will always be there, slowly, silently going on in the background of every day life.
To imagine I could stay alive with barely any food, 2 hours sleep and constant blood loss for about 2 months… what a living hell.

But hey, clearly it’s not that easy to get rid of me!

Anyway, this thought just hit me today as I saw this old post of mine… I best get on with my rainy day after this little emotional teary break.  And yes, there will definitely be a new post within a short amount of time again, don’t you all worry 😉

And remember Gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud.