I have had the best day ever! Wow I needed it!
I have finally been back at Lincoln University for the day helping the nursing students out. I spent the day being a patient with abdominal problems, for them to do an examination on. I can’t remember when I was last touched, prodded and pocked as much as I was, and I loved it! Thanks to me not being in any pain it all just ended up feeling like a massage too which was nice!
I met some lovely people, had a good laugh and have been filled with so much joy. This day meant so much for my mental and emotional wellbeing, my self-love. I felt like I had a purpose. I felt so valuable, so useful, I felt important, I felt needed. I felt like I can make a difference and be helpful. I am just filled with so much gratitude and joy and it really has helped make me feel good about myself again and it has given me such a feeling of meaning and purpose. I felt appreciated. I am struggling a little to explain precisely how it made me feel but I think you can get the gist of it from that explanation haha.

I don’t think I can put words on how amazing it has made me feel and what a lift it has given me, it really has!

In amongst this amazing first day, I did however have a “first” experience. I would lie if I said it didn’t sting a little, and it wasn’t very professional of the person. I won’t go into too much detail about anything however, I experienced the first person to see my stoma and say “eeew”. It was a good job I felt pretty emotionally stable at that moment and had already experienced some good students, but I did tell the people in charge about it, and that if I was feeling a bit weaker or was really ill then that would have easily broken me. Hopefully, they will raise this with the person and they won’t do it again.
It is a scary thought of someone training to become a healthcare provider, come this care in their training to be having these kinds of exams, and still having a reaction like that.. I could maybe get past it if it was their first week all in all, but this just didn’t feel good. Like I said, it really was a good job I felt pretty happy and stable, otherwise that could have easily messed with my head and made me jump 5 steps back to not wanting to show anyone my stomach for quite some time.. and I don’t want that to happen to anyone.

On the positive side, I also met one of the loveliest people ever. She made me feel so seen as a patient, explained everything, kept me calm (if I had been ill). She made me feel so at ease and comfortable and I told her this, I told her to always be like that, because she really was made for the job. Just a simple thing like remembering my name and referring to me with my name and talking to me while doing the examination, well that was amazing, I felt so included and part of it all.
I obviously understand nerves, and that they were being marked, however, surely they would want to make it as realistic as possible? That’s why the Uni got in real patients to make it more really…

Aaah, anyway, to summarise. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Just incase you didn’t get that from I thought I would clarify haha
I spent all day laying on a be wrapped in blankets showing my belly and getting a belly massage, what is not to love!

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