I have missed feeling the warm sand under my feet. Making the perfect body shaped bed in the sand, feeling the warm sun on my skin and the gentle salty sea breeze as the water slowly flows in against the beach. This is heaven! It is also mine and Stevie the Stomas first proper visit to a sand beach full of people. And guess what, I decided to go all in and have my old bikini on (I have brought with me my new high waisted bikini too). 

I felt how my stomach was all nerves as I laid out my towel, and then I just had to take my top off. You know what, it wasn’t as scary as I thought. It’s the first time I’ve not spoken to people before getting Stevie out. Now that I’m laid down, it doesn’t feel so bad. It’s strange how situations and nerves can get so built up for no reason.  Well maybe not no reason, we have a group of guys sat quite near us, typical guy talk checking out girls and talking about their own bodies. Definitely making me more self conscious. It’s and good job I have Axel here next to me, and it feels good pretending to be confident without the “perfect” body.

Today it’s a whopping 25 degrees (at least) and after soaking in the sun with my book I dared out to dip my toes in the sea. The water is divine and I am currently sat in the sun drying (extremely fast) after mine and Stevies first dip in the sea! It felt fantastic feeling the water on my skin! Clear warm water, a few fish swimming along, heaven!

I am feeling so proud of myself for pretending to be confident, strutting the beach with my bag on show, going in the sea and pretending that there isn’t a soul here apart from me and Axel! Inside I don’t feel anywhere near as confident as I always try to make out, but I do feel a lot better now after taking this massive first step! 

I did look up earlier and see someone staring, I’m not sure if he was staring at the bag, (which does say ‘shit happens’) or maybe be was disapproving of the fact that I was sunbathing my boobs when there a tree children around? Who knows but right this moment, I don’t care! 

Right now I’m gonna carry on enjoying the sun, the sea and my book! And soon our picknick.

Happy Saturday all! 

This Saturday I feel proud of myself, and surprised again at my strength. ❤🌞

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